Friday, March 13, 2009

Writing Exercise II

A group of environmentalists (see: hippies) are protesting the deforestation of an area when they are interrupted by a raging wildfire. Many environmentalists are lost in the ensuing panic and melted onto trees where they achieve two of their lifelong dreams: being a part of nature and being a piece of modern art. A morally questionable auction is soon held and an art dealer purchases the melted environmentalists for "whatever that gentleman has in his wallet". As the art dealer drives home, the ecstasy begins to wear off and he realizes that even his morally flexible friends would probably find this in bad taste. He drops it on a street corner in a bad part of town. The artwork is soon used as a shelter by a couple of orphaned children. When a social worker finds the children, they refuse to go unless they can take their makeshift shelter with them. The social worker reaches into her own pocket to have it moved to the orphanage, hoping that the children could be weened off of it eventually. Unfortunately, the unwieldy size of the piece required it be grafted onto the interior of the orphanage. Four days later, the children's father appears, proclaiming himself the artist behind the world's greatest bit of performance art: leaving his children to become vagrants. The social worker then attempts to remove the piece, but much of the funds normally given to orphanages had been reallocated to the National Endowment for the Arts. The social worker then decided that the only way to get the money back was to claim that keeping the hideous piece in the orphanage to traumatize children was a performance piece. She dies a rich woman when the orphanage catches fire. The children all back into the piece of art when the fire surrounds them. They are grafted onto the piece. A purveyor of ironic art walking by as the piece is dragged out of the orphanage sees the piece, but is disgusted by it. If he had stopped, he would have been late to the environmentalist rally.

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